Puppy on a lead - again

Someone please help me I'm back on this puppy lead again!
We went out for a walk and can I help it, I like people and people like me. I've learnt that puppies are very popular. So I try to talk to people, but I'm only a little puppy so I have to make myself big and that means I jump up.
Oops I'm back on the puppy lead again.
So the lesson to learn here is that yes people like puppies, but only to smile at and maybe a gentle pat on the head. Certainly not jumped on, leaving muddy paw prints on their coats!
Silly people. I'm just trying to be friendly.
I'm going through this funny puppy stage where everybody else is silly or stupid! I'm perfect of course.
It just seems to me that whatever I do I'm in a no-win situation: I have to stop it, drop it, leave it, put it down, get down, lay down, sit up, get up, give it up, shut up, go outside, come inside, don't do this or don't do that and the best one of all 'can't you go to sleep for a while?'
Maybe I do a few things that perhaps I shouldn't, but I watch the big black dog and she's boring, no life in her at all. Now we puppies have a rule, life is for today, growing up is for tomorrow.
I heard school is looming..........help.........be nice to make friends, other puppies just like me, no. No way. There just couldn't be any other puppies like me, I'm unique, like a cabbage patch kid, one of a kind. Now having said cabbage patch kids, they live upstairs and apparently if I ever touch one my next home is in heaven. Where's that, near London?
If I want to be free on my walk in the morning I'm going to try and be really really good for the rest of the day..HOW?
Oh there's a magazine I haven't seen before, perhaps just a little read outside. Just to keep me out of the house for a while, you understand.
I'll see you tomorrow........lol..... been told that's means. lots of licks!